Your website’s first mistake is a common one. You’re trying to squeeze in too much information.

You may not like the idea, but there’s a reasonable chance that your website is the online equivalent of that guy who cornered you. You asked him what he did, and half an hour later he was still sharing far, far more information than you were interested in.

Microsoft Word is one of the most overwhelming applications I have ever come across. Yet Microsoft’s main page on Word 2010 lists only three features, and three goats:

If Microsoft can describe the most feature-overloaded application of all time in three benefits, so can you.

If you had to describe what you sell in one short sentence, what would it be?

What do we do? We help software companies sell more. And you?

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Every few months someone sends me their business plan and asks how we might work together. Most of them are interesting.

Yet every now and then the plan contains something along the following lines:

Vision and optimism are essential when launching a business, but so is realism.

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Next Tuesday I’ll be making a couple of presentations to the Software East network in Cambridge, UK.

Website Armour: a practical guide to protecting your website from customers will look at some of the many ways that software developers lose sales through their websites.

31 ways to ruthlessly exploit Google AdWords is self-explanatory. Google have been taking your money under false pretence for too long. I’ll show you how you can exploit AdWords with no regard to a fair and balanced relationship.

Admission is free if you book before the 23rd; £15 afterwards.

I hope you can join me there.

An evening with Dave Collins

Update: Just to clarify, this is a live “in the flesh” event in Cambridge (the real one); not a webinar.

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I’m back, I’m tired, and I’m swamped with email. Business will resume shortly.

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Last year I was invited to speak at a Digital River conference in Shanghai. Not surprisingly, I had no idea that I was going to get trapped by an Icelandic ash cloud.

Tomorrow I leave for another DR event in China, this time in Beijing.

I have no idea what the banner says, but sincerely hope it has nothing to do with volcanoes.

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A/Q: Why do you think?

Everyone knows that Google make most of their money from AdWords. And anyone who uses AdWords knows that it’s a seriously powerful system.

Like many powerful systems, it has a lot of options.

Here’s where I get to the point.

Almost every single default is in Google’s favour and not yours.

A new campaign will default to being displayed on all devices (including  iPhones), on all networks (really bad idea) with ads not rotated evenly and more.

All the defaults, every single one of them, are in Google’s interests and not their advertisers.

On top of that there are an astonishing number of options to choose from.

A new AdWords advertiser may be horrified to discover a total of 18 decisions that have to be made when setting up a new campaign – and that’s before they have to start even thinking about actual keywords or ads.

As someone who’s been working with AdWords since the very earliest days, I’ve watched what was a fairly simple system evolve into an astonishingly complex multi-headed beast of a monster!

Our company has two certified individuals and have attained AdWords Certified Partner status as a company, so we know what we’re doing, and know what we’re talking about.

Have you ever set up a Gmail account? Shared photos on Picasa? Setup a Google Docs account? Used Google Analytics on your websites? These are complicated tasks that Google have made simple.

AdWords is complicated because Google want it to be complicated.

If you know what you’re doing (we do) then you can have a fruitful, symbiotic relationship with Google. But most advertisers don’t know what they’re doing, in which case the relationship is very much parasitic.

Smart parasites hide the damage caused by their feeding, so as to be able to feed on their hosts for as long as possible.

Most AdWords account that I see for the first time (I see many)  are losing money without the advertiser even realising.

Are you really that confident that you know what you’re doing with your AdWords account?

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When I first started shaving, I tried a Bic disposable razor.

It made mincemeat of my face, but never tried to be anything more than the cheap, disposable razor that it was.

I remember when the first “twin-blade” razor came out.

It was quite interesting because it was new and different, and it actually did seem to shave closer than a single-blade.

Then came strips of aloe vera (to soothe the skin a millisecond before it gets scraped away). This too was new and different, as was the launch of the first three-blade razor, the twin-moisturising-strips, the battery-powered vibrating wet razor, the electrically-powered dry razor that oozed slug-like gel and more.

Actually much more.

The Gillette Complete Product Line-Up features no less than 22 different razors – my personal favourite being the Fusion Gaming Razor:

“When it’s time to step up, you need to put your best face forward. The Gillette Fusion Gamer razor gives you the home advantage by combining Gillette’s advanced shaving technology with sophisticated performance. You can take control of the 5-blade technology and gentle contouring Microfins standard on the Gillette Fusion Gamer razor.”

I don’t like swearing for the sake of it, but holy crap.

And yes, you read that correctly. There are indeed five blades on this advanced shaving technology.

How did we cope in the past?

A razor does one thing – it shaves off hair. A good razor does so with less irritation.

Without a doubt we’re heading to the Retro Razor at some point, that will help you start the day “getting back to nature with one single blade with the allergen-free-no-moisturiser-strip“.

Yesterday I came across the Gravity Defyer shoe range:

Let’s ignore the fact that the logo is a sperm, and concentrate instead on marketing hype that includes a Master Spring that propels you forward yet somehow reduces fatigue, VersoShock Trampoline Shock absorbing heel and of course the Twin Stabilisers.

I understand where they’re coming from. They’re trying to be new and different, but while there may be a fine line between hype and stupidity, this level of sensationalism crossed it a long time ago and never looked back.

Please don’t allow this form of marketing to work.

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